Guest Tiki Bar Review: Dirty Dick – Paris by Tom Hemmen

If the name of this place doesn’t sound particularly like that of a tiki bar, it’s because it isn’t – “Dirty Dick” was apparently the name of the bordello that this Paris red-light district tiki bar replaced, and the new owner kept the name …

It took real effort to get into Dick’s; the first two times we tried to go there during the open hours posted in Yelp, TripAdvisor, etc., they were closed, with no notice or reason posted on the outside – and in fact, no posted hours either, so it was hard to confirm if what was online was even accurate.

Therefore, the third time we checked in on Dick’s, the night before we were slated to fly home to Seattle, we really weren’t expecting them to be open – but open they were at 6:00 PM, just as advertised, so we cheerfully trooped on in.

Inside, Dirty Dick is dark and atmospheric. Candles and lamps in woven shades – stems of orchid blossoms stuck in their mesh for garnishing drinks – light the bar counter; in the back room the couches, low tables, and tikis are illuminated in part by an under lit pinup-style mural on one wall of a tropical beach babe looking over her shoulder into the room. The back room especially had a laid-back, easygoing feel to it; the place was practically made for sinking into your chair and hanging out … possibly for hours.

However, time was in short supply for us, so we took seats at the bar instead and introduced ourselves. Our bartender was the affable Mattelle (or Mantelle? Not sure of the spelling), and we soon got the drinks rolling.

Sometimes I like, when evaluating a new place, to order classic tiki drinks because I know what they are supposed to taste like, and have a ready basis for comparison – but at Dirty Dick’s we threw caution to the winds, choosing instead to order drinks that were uniquely Dick’s – in part because we wouldn’t be able to come back.

For my first choice, I went for the gusto and ordered the “Calm Before the Storm”, rated as being about as strong as a Zombie. One could certainly tell there was plenty of rum going on, but the drink balanced this nicely against the spicy and citrus flavors; even Jeanie, who normally shies from drinks high on the potency scale, found it delicious … and Mattelle’s meticulously arranged garnish was nothing short of spectacular.

Jeanie, meanwhile, tried their “Wai Ona Waui”, a lighter drink with gentle touches of spice and Martinique rhum on a canvas of what she feels was French lemonade; simple and pretty. Richard had the menu’s one nonalcoholic drink, “Betraying Yourself”, a not-too-sweet coconut-y number dusted with nutmeg and beautifully garnished.

For our next round, Richard asked Mattelle to make up a new non-alcoholic drink for him, and received what was hands-down the splashiest-looking libation of our visit: A passion-fruit-driven wonder in a towering green Moai-style mug topped with a molded ice shell, fruit, and mint.

My second drink, which I shared with Jeanie, as she wanted to try it as well, was the “Mystic Fist of Ku” – another delicious combination, this time of Cuban rum, banana, citrus, and tobacco bitters –  a tincture of Cuban rum and tobacco leaves, a Bitter Truth product not sold in the United States. This drink is very, very good, and comes lavishly garnished with a long slice of banana, a cinnamon stick, a pineapple leaf, a dried slice of lime, and a marasca cherry.

As we made to go, Mattelle poured us a parting shot on the house of the Dirty Dick house rum blend (Richard’s shot is tropical fruit nectar) and drank one with us … it was a great visit!

In sum: The mixological skills at Dirty Dick were top notch, and the drinks both potent and excellent – since they don’t serve food, if you visit, you may want to eat something first. They had no mugs available when we were there – their artist is on hiatus (the same, it turned out, as the individual who also made mugs, past tense, for Le Tiki Lounge), but the décor and atmosphere were awesome, and the bartender we shared our stay with was a real artist, as well as a nice guy. It was hard to catch them open, but we were glad we finally got to try it out!

I’d like to thank Tom Hemmen for his awesome write up on Dirty Dick!

Here is the Dirty Dick Facebook page